Robert Mugabe, the stay-at-home-dad

Posted on 7 August 2013

With the UNWTO (United Nations World Tourism Organisation) summit coming to Victoria Falls at the end of August, I started wondering why tourism seemed to be swinging back to the Zimbabwe side of the Victoria Falls bridge. Of course, at the time of writing this column for Getaway magazine’s August issue, I had no idea that the Zimbabwe elections would turn out to be such chaos (although I probably should have  guessed). Thus, it might well be that Zambia is back on top when it comes to choosing a country from which to experience the Zambezi but fluctuating facts like these have never stopped me from putting my ramblings to paper. So here it is anyway:

Imagine Robert Mugabe and Michael Sata, the Zambian president, plunging off the Victoria Falls Bridge in a tandem gorge swing. Bob is giggling his glasses off, while Sata hangs desperately on to him by his sideburns, shrieking the entire way down.

This is how I understand politics. Let me explain. In just a few weeks’ time, the World Tourism Organisation (UNWTO) comes to Africa for its 2013 global summit. Delegates from 158 countries will participate in an eight-day programme (23 August to 2 September) in both Zambia and Zimbabwe to promote tourism as a driver of economic growth and to offer leadership and support in advancing knowledge and policies worldwide.

As a precursor to this, both Mugabe and Sata were announced as official United Nations ambassadors of tourism in January 2012.

Wait, what? Bob Mugabe an official UN ambassador? Yes. The blue berets that ooze peace from their pores appointed a man who almost single-handedly destroyed his country’s infrastructure, sent its economy into a downward spiral and devastated its travel and tourism industry in the process.

But that’s not all. At the time of his appointment, Bob was also still under a travel ban and not allowed to leave Zimbabwe. A tourism ambassador who isn’t allowed to travel? What next, an education minister without matric? Oh wait …

The thing is, since then tourism in Zim has exploded. Okay, so the upward trend actually began a year earlier in 2011, when tourism earnings reportedly increased by almost 50 percent and 2,3 million visitors entered the country, but the renaissance is continuing and many tourists are choosing Zimbabwe as the preferred destination to experience Victoria Falls. Zambia, on the other hand, is dead set on strangling its inbound market with frequent price hikes on tourist attractions, additional airport taxes and new park fees for visitors.

Still, that can’t constitute entirely for the growth in Zim tourism. So Bob must be doing something right. I think it’s because he’s had to be a stay-at-home dad, on account of that pesky travel ban. Without frivolous international sojourns (otherwise known as ‘ambassadorial visits’), the old boy has had no choice but to start fixing up his own back yard, even if that means borrowing hefty amounts of money to do so (read: Zimbabwe asks SA for tourism bailout). I remember my dad once having to stay home for a week on account of a ‘cold’. By Friday, the toaster was fixed, all the lights in our house worked and we had a new row of bright pink azaleas lining the garden path. It was wonderful.

So perhaps I don’t understand politics all that well after all, but what I do understand is that a man, given the time and direction, can either use a rope to hang himself or tie something together. In this case it seems to be the latter. But for now, the answer is still dangling in the air … 128 metres above the Zambezi.

 

Footnote

Recent events in mind, is the answer still dangling in the air? Which side of the border would you visit?

 

Illustration by James Berrange

 






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