Six months on the road around Southern Africa: Eco-toilets, tetchy ellies and over 100 beds

Posted on 21 November 2012

I did something very rare this week. I slept in the same bed for seven nights straight. Before bracing yourself for titillating tales of promiscuity, I’m not a bed-hopping floozie. Well, not anymore at least.

As a travel writer and photographer, I spend endless days on the road and in airports. I incessantly pack, unpack and repack. I eat too much service station grub: previously taught body parts now either wibble or wobble. My socks smell. In fact, most of my clothes seem to be infused with perma-humm. The rest of my time, it seems, is spent at border posts, dealing with official officials, or sweet-talking police with questionable ethics. Life on the African road isn’t all rolling savannahs, game-filled plains and long desert tracks to nowheresville.

Yet the last six months – even by these standards – have been an exhausting, exhilarating and hectic period of exploration. I’ve bedded down in some cockroach-infested hellholes and have bush-camped in Namibia’s -5 degree deserts (before being chased away by German farmers with guns).

But I shouldn’t grumble (though will no doubt continue to do so, long after this blog has been posted: I’m English, it’s what we do best – grumble and make inane references to the weather). So you can put the violins away: it’s not all been so rough. I have a great partner in my girlfriend Gem, who endures our various trials and tribulations with more patience and humour than I do. Plus, there were a couple of 5 star island resorts in there, along with some incredible safari destinations. We’ve also thrown ourselves off, into and out of things – generally against our better judgment. Now I’d like to share some experiences and recommend a few very special destinations in the process…

It all started with three months road tripping around Southern Africa shooting the series Out on a Limb. The inspirational double amputee Bushy McKelvey’s aim was to raise the profile of smaller charities and NGO’s, who are doing great work, often without the resources.

During this time we; built and eco-toilet in Namibia’s Otjiwarongo; were the first people to clap eyes on a leopard cub at Erindi National Park; conducted an HIV Awareness Day at a centre for AIDS-effected children in Botswana; rereleased some rehabilitated cheetah back into the wild; and spent time with the wonderful residents of the Durbanville Quadriplegic Centre. Between this we even had the chance to sandboard Namibia’s great red dunes, cage dive with great whites, snorkel with seals and chuck Bushy out of a plane (he survived, thanks in large part to a parachute).

Next up was a stint at Baines River Camp in Zambia‘s enchanting Lower Zambezi (read more about our trip to the Lower Zambezi here), followed by a couple of weeks in Zimbabwe, first at the unique Gorges Lodge in Victoria Falls. Teetering imperiously 200 metres above the gorge, Gorges may have the best views of any lodge, anywhere.

After soaking up the sights – and a few Johnnie Walkers – we headed to Bomani Tented Lodge in Hwange National Park. Also owned by Imvelo, Bomani epitomises a well-run safari lodge. The service is seamless, the food hearty, the wine endless. The tents are comfortable and beautifully appointed. The guys at Imvelo also do endless amounts for conservation and the local community. And then there’s the wildlife: witnessing huge herds of elephant frolicking in the pans as a great pink sun set over the Ngamo plains was a highlight of our year.

From the plains to the planes. A stopover in Johannesburg was at the Monarch Hotel. I simply adore it there. Once the iconic 1930’s Saxonwold Post Office, this boutique hotel is managed by the impeccable Jan van As. The Monarch is stylish, sexy and sophisticated. Fine and modern art deck every nook and cranny, complementing the period interiors. The food (and breakfast in particular) is yummy.

Another two flights later and we reached Lugenda Wilderness Camp in northern Mozambique. Describing Lugenda as ‘remote’ would be like calling the Kalahari ‘big’. Lying close to the Tanzanian border, deep in the Niassa reserve, this a little slice of luxury in one of Africa’s most remote pockets. Here, great granite and quartz rock formations rise like a hiccup in the landscape, framed by river systems, rocky gorges and thick vegetation. The standout moment was a sunset drive through a baobab forest, being pursued by genuinely wild elephants. It was Tim Burton meets Harry Potter.

We could have spent some time at Lugenda chilling in our lavish tented accommodation, listening to manager Nick’s bush tales. But we had some islands in the Quirimbas Archipelago to attend to. First stop was Rani’s Matemo Island for some watery fun. Matemo is about more than just stunning beaches. Here you can fish, kayak, waterski, snorkel, or simply cavort in the waves.

However we were at Matemo for the diving: these kaleidoscopic coral reefs are pregnant with marine life. We continued our scuba-ie pursuits at Medjumbe Island. A favourite haunt for honeymooners, this romantic little number features the shortest airstrip in the southern hemisphere. In fact, the whole island is less than 1km long. After the madness of the last few months, we felt no guilt lying back, spending some time in our private dip pool, stuffing our faces with seafood, and lolling in the impossibly blue waters.

Before we could say “another Pina Colada, please sir” and we were back in the UK for a whistle-stop tour to visit family and friends, followed by a couple of weeks in New York. A six-day journey (via trains, planes and automobiles) back to Zimbabwe followed, where we have just been shooting a documentary on Hwange’s elephant problems (read more about the documentary here).

Phew. So to the future: in January we’re off on a snake safari in KZN and in February Gemma and I lead a two-week photography tour of our favourite country on earth, Madagascar (shameless plug time, only 16 places remain).

I may be a tad tired, have smelly feet and a little potbelly; but it hasn’t half been fun.

 






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